One day, I was off work, unwinding in my apartment. At the time, I was young and had this nice, comfy, good place in a nice neighborhood. I’ve always been a bit of a homebody—though I’m a social butterfly around others, I need time alone to recharge. As a hairstylist, I give so much of my energy to clients that on my days off, all I want is peace and quiet.

But one day, my peaceful downtime was interrupted in a way I never expected. I had a neighbor, a woman married to a much older man—he was probably 25 years older than her—and they had two kids together. She seemed like a devoted wife and mother, or so I thought. That day, however, I noticed she was bringing a younger man to the apartment, sneaking him in while her husband was at work. Before long, it was clear what was going on. Through the walls, I could hear everything—and believe me, she was loud, sounding like an alley cat, making it impossible to ignore.

It wasn’t just once, either. Every time she was with the boyfriend, she was so loud that I wanted to stick a sock in her mouth. It was horrible—just plain rude. I felt like shouting, “Be quiet, please! Kids are coming out of school. Calm down. They can hear you!” Living near a high school, I knew the sound carried, and it made the situation even worse.

At first, I thought maybe she and her husband had separated, but soon I realized that wasn’t the case. Her husband was simply at work, unaware of what was happening in his own apartment. I couldn’t believe the audacity. She was bringing another man into their apartment, fully expecting to get away with it. But the real shock came when her husband returned home unexpectedly.

When he showed up, things took a dramatic turn. She wouldn’t let him in, keeping the door shut and antagonizing him, saying, “Hit me, hit me.” He kept asking her, “Why do you want me to hit you?” I was anxious, lurking and peeking through my window—this was more dramatic than a Spanish soap opera on Telemundo! It hit me—she was pushing him to react, trying to provoke him so she’d have an excuse to call the police. I couldn’t look away as I watched the commotion unfold.

Eventually, he managed to get past her, gently pushing her aside to enter his own apartment. But as soon as he confronted the young man, she started screaming, “You hit me, you hit me!” The truth was, he hadn’t hit her at all—he had only gently moved her out of his way. But, as she’d planned, she called the cops, and when they arrived, he was the one taken away. He was thrown in jail over a situation she had completely orchestrated.

He was gone for a few days, and during that time, she continued having her wild encounters with her younger boyfriend, just as loud as ever. After three weeks, maybe three months later—I can’t quite remember—they moved, and I never saw them again. To this day, I don’t know if her husband remained in jail or what happened to him.

This experience was eye-opening. It shattered my assumption that women in these situations were always the victims. This woman had manipulated everyone around her, playing the part of the victim while hurting those closest to her. At the time, I didn’t even know terms like “narcissist” or “toxic personality,” but I knew there was something deeply wrong with what she did.

And here’s the thing—this wasn’t just any relationship. She was one of those women that men travel abroad to marry. It reminded me of the so-called “passport bros”—men looking to marry women from other countries who they assume are innocent or pure-hearted. But some of these women are only after financial stability, wanting sugar daddies they can manipulate while living a double life. Not all are like this, of course, but it’s a reminder that intentions can be deceiving, and not everyone is who they seem to be.

The Moral of the Story

From this experience, I learned a powerful lesson: women are not always the victims. There are many who are wolves in sheep’s clothing, hiding their true nature behind a fake image of innocence. It’s a reminder that toxic behavior and manipulation aren’t bound by gender. Sometimes, the ones we least suspect can be the very people causing harm. This eye-opening experience inspired me to dig deeper, to understand these behaviors, and to help others see through the masks people wear.

A Word to Older Men

To older men considering relationships with much younger women, remember that not all that glitters is gold. Just because a younger woman is giving you attention doesn’t mean she has your best interests at heart. Pay attention to what your friends and family say about her, and trust your instincts. Red flags don’t lie, and ignoring them can lead to heartache and serious consequences. Be mindful, and make sure her intentions align with yours before getting deeply involved.