Grief Has No Schedule

Grief doesn’t follow a straight line. It doesn’t arrive, stay for a few months, and then politely leave. Some days, you may feel strong and hopeful. Other days, a memory, a song, or even a random moment can hit you like a wave. That doesn’t mean you’re going backwards—it means you’re human.

There’s no “right” way to grieve. And more importantly, there’s no deadline for when you’re supposed to be okay. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or even a dream, grief can come and go in cycles. And that’s completely normal.


3 Simple Steps to Help You Through Grief:

1. Let Yourself Feel It, Fully
Don’t rush yourself. Sometimes the pressure to “move on” makes it harder. Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, confused—whatever emotions come. The only way out is through, and your emotions are valid, no matter how long it’s been.

2. Find Comfort in Meaningful Moments
Sometimes small, personal acts can bring peace—whether it’s writing your thoughts down, spending quiet time reflecting, or doing something that reminds you of your loved one. These moments help your heart heal in its own time.

3. Remember That Grief Isn’t Public
You don’t have to perform your pain for others to prove you’re grieving. Some people cry privately, others process in silence. Grief is personal, and how you handle it doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else.


A Personal Reflection on Judgment & Grief

When my father passed away, I cried for six hours straight on the train ride home from Sacramento to L.A. I didn’t even know it was possible to have that many tears. But something happened. When I stepped off that train, I stopped crying. I had let it all out, 99% of it, during that long ride.

Later, a client asked me—almost sarcastically—“You’re not crying? Aren’t you sad about your dad?” What she didn’t realize was that grief isn’t something you measure by how often you see someone in tears. Just because I wasn’t crying in front of her didn’t mean I wasn’t feeling the weight of my loss.

As a professional, I can’t always break down in front of clients. But that doesn’t mean my heart wasn’t broken. Some people think showing emotion in public is unprofessional; others think being composed means you don’t care. The truth? No one gets to tell you how to grieve. As long as you’re not self destructive you do you.


Closing Thought:

Grief is personal. It’s messy, unpredictable, and often misunderstood. Whether you cry for hours or carry your grief quietly, remember this: it’s yours. And you’re allowed to handle it in whatever way helps you find peace.

Take your time. Hold on to hope. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means remembering with love instead of pain. And never forget, there’s a promise that one day “death will be no more, neither will mourning, nor outcry, nor pain.” (Revelation 21:4) Grief won’t last forever—and neither will the sadness.