I took this picture of myself last year. Many thoughts were going through my mind like they always do. I’m OVER analytical.. My discerning friends know when I’m drowing myself in a cup of water. I don’t know if it has anything to do with my up bringing, I sure don’t like it. I suffer from anxiety and irritability people don’t know that. I can hide things very well even though. I think I’m a awesome actress😜 I can be venting and acting dramatic to my friends about something.. But deep inside my mind is venting about something completely different than what I’m telling them. I find myself driving and I see my hands shaking. I’m so hyper people don’t notice me like that. Is it post traumatic stress? I’ve been through a lot. I thought I was going to be blogging more about my mother’s schizophrenia and bipolar and how its affected my career and romantic relationships but I don’t…I guess because I can talk about it and not cringe like I use to so doesn’t seem worth writing about.. I like to write things that is moving my heart at the moment. Her illness doesn’t move me anymore. I’m strong. Not phased.   I’m so over what crazy things she’s done. She’s on some good medication and doesnt even talk or act like the same monster I knew back in the day. Now you see I can vent and talk about my mom but no body ever dare say anything disrespectul about her. Were going to fight…Nobody better mess with my momma..we going to fight:)

My life is not perfect. ..and it will not be in this system. All I can do is try and laugh my way through humor. Humor has saved me, but most of all  my God Jehovah has saved me from the madness. Had I not come back to him I would be somewhere in some rehab, or at some  AA meeting hugging strangers ..or in prison for hurting someone. He’s taught me how to have self control. He’s taught me that I am not a victim but that I’m a funny warrior. My mother’s illness  has affected  my sibblings and I but I must say we are strong people. I don’t think the average person would be able to live to and survive her craziness. Did I tell you about the time  she left my lil brother and I at Venice Beach and we had to figure out a way home with no money. My brother and his friend had to steal bikes,  it took them like 8 hours or more to get home because they got lost and ended up in Long beach..they had a CRAZY adventure going through the hoods of California.. When we have family gatherings we reminisce about stuff…we just laugh our heads off. Well gotta get ready for work.. Sorry I got carried away typing.. But isn’t that what blogs are for..LOL!! Bye..(waves)

Blogging just because💝😂😜