When you’re around married friends, it’s easy to feel pressure to settle. But rushing into a relationship or ignoring red flags out of desperation often leads to heartbreak. Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything right but still stuck? Stay true to yourself and approach dating with clarity and balance.

Spot the Red Flags

Desperation can cloud judgment. Ignoring signs like a lack of respect, inconsistent communication, or a reluctance to commit will only create bigger issues later. Being single is far better than settling for a relationship that doesn’t honor your worth.

Surround Yourself Wisely

Years ago, when I was going through my divorce, one of my clients, Debbie, had just gotten engaged. Her mom shared the news with me during an appointment, so when Debbie came in, I asked why she hadn’t mentioned it. She said, “I just didn’t feel it was right to rub my engagement in your face, knowing you were going through a divorce.”

That moment stood out to me—it was the first time I truly understood what discernment meant. Debbie didn’t avoid sharing her joy but showed empathy by being mindful.

This level of mindfulness is rare. If you’re constantly hanging around tone-deaf married people who brag about how happy they are, it can intensify feelings of loneliness and even make you act out of desperation. It’s not that you’re being a hater—it’s just exhausting to have their happiness constantly rubbed in your face, especially when it seems like they forget you’re there. If they’re so happy, why not share those moments with their married friends instead of putting their single friends in an uncomfortable position?

Now, I’m not saying to drop all your married friends, but surround yourself with those who have a balanced view and are considerate of your feelings. Associating with empathetic people helps you focus on your journey rather than feeling pressured or excluded.

Strategize Without Desperation

On dating apps, avoid saying, “I’m looking for a marriage-minded person.” People already know why you’re there. Instead, apply one of The 48 Laws of Power: conceal your true intentions. A simple, “Looking to see where things go” is intriguing and creates curiosity. Confidence and mystery draw people in, making them more interested in learning about you.

Break the Routine

If dating isn’t working, try something new. Growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone.



What’s your biggest dating challenge? Let’s talk about it! If this resonated with you, follow, share, and subscribe to my page for more personal stories and actionable insights. Next time, I’ll share why taking breaks from dating  actually speed up finding the right person. Let’s rewrite your love story together.🖤🤍🩶