I wasn’t always a fan of Zoe Saldaña. I didn’t even watch the movie she won an Oscar for. But I became a fan—not because of her fame, but because of her realness and how much I could relate to her struggles.

As a relationship coach, I know that our identity shapes how we relate to others. The relationships we build—with partners, family, or even strangers—are influenced by how we view ourselves and how others perceive us. Zoe’s journey reminded me of that, and it made me reflect on how important it is to accept and stand by who we are, even when the world makes it hard. Because without self-acceptance, it’s difficult to build healthy, lasting relationships.


The Challenge of Embracing Identity

Zoe has faced criticism for not being “Black enough” to portray Nina Simone and, at the same time, not being “Latina enough” for certain roles. This struggle is familiar to many of us who come from mixed or multicultural backgrounds. As a Dominican, I’ve seen how people push labels on us. Some insist all Dominicans are Black, but when we acknowledge our other ancestries, we’re labeled racist.

Dominicans are tri-racial and diverse. In my own DNA, I discovered I’m 6.8% Mexican, 5.something percent Egyptian, with additional Jewish, Portuguese, and Japanese heritage within my family. That diversity should be celebrated, not criticized.

But when society forces us to choose just one label, it creates internal conflict and damages self-acceptance. And that affects our relationships—because if we’re not authentic with ourselves, how can we be real with others?

Why Self-Acceptance Strengthens Relationships

Zoe’s openness about living with dyslexia and ADHD resonated with me. I haven’t been formally diagnosed, but I know I have ADHD and OCD. My sister, who studied psychology, pointed out my OCD years ago, and one of my brothers was diagnosed with ADHD.

I’ve learned to manage my challenges in my own way. For example, when I leave work, I switch off the lights and count at least 12 times to make sure they’re off. Even when I clean, I time myself in increments. It keeps me focused.

These routines help me stay grounded, but what truly empowers me is accepting who I am. Self-acceptance builds stronger relationships. When we embrace our identity—flaws, differences, and all—we show up as our true selves, creating deeper, more authentic connections.

Two Coaching Tips to Build Confidence and Stronger Relationships

1. Embrace Your Uniqueness – The things that make you different are also what make you valuable. Instead of hiding your ADHD, OCD, or unique ways of thinking, own it. The right people will appreciate the real you. Being authentic is key to building relationships rooted in trust.

2. Honor Your Cultural Heritage – If you’re biracial or multicultural, embrace all parts of your heritage. Don’t pander or change who you are just to fit into someone else’s idea of identity. People can see through inauthenticity. Be proud of every layer of your background—it’s what makes you unique. True relationships are built on honesty and self-respect, so stand tall in your identity.

Final Thought

I’m glad that people like Zoe, Drake, and even Dani Leigh exist. Despite all the criticism, they keep going. They use their voices, even when the world tries to silence them.

For years, I wondered if mixed people would ever be allowed to speak their truths and be respected. Seeing these artists rise, despite the backlash, means a lot to me.

Because at the end of the day, nobody is perfect. But we can keep going. We can take it one day at a time and build stronger, healthier relationships—first with ourselves, and then with others.

If you feel caught between two worlds, just know this: You are enough. Your identity is valid. You don’t have to choose one side or the other

Picture 📸 Credit: Images sourced from Pinterest